5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
