but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My feet surprised me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
