I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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