This girl is more easily done than said...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
