i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Come see our sink grown plant.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
