Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
