and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
