You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
