i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We smell like vodka and hangover
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