i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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