Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
