that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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