i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
