you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
