It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
