fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize