This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
