I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
