I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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