How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
that's an acceptable place to lick
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
