I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
