New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
