i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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