I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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