I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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