Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
