it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
