Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize