the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
