So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
