you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
