The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
