i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
