I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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