so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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