i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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