Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
