That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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