Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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