alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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