my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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