Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
please come you make the beer taste better
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.