Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together