i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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