so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.