sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
