you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
