your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize