I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
