i don't plan on having that self control this summer
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
