1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
