dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
