I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You were trust falling into bushes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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