thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my poor anus
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
