After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
