i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
