Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He did a backflip because drugs
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