His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
