Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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