you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
