Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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