i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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