it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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