And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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