You really coming over, don't trick.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
