they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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