i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
