3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
