We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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