If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Less talking, more tequila
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
