Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
