Porn is love you can see.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
